I’m No Good

If I am only here to be blamed, accused, punched and belittled; why am I even here?
Is this what I was destined with? Why didn’t I just die as a baby when I had my bronchitis. Why didn’t you just end my life?
Consistently I get blamed for mistakes and situations that is beyond my control. Accused on doing things that I’m unaware of.
I don’t know what to do or what to say anymore. Every good damn good thing about me or I do goes unrecognized. I’m tired of trying to proof myself. I’m going to step back and shut the eff up.
If you are reading this The Al-Mighty, please I beg you to end me.
I’m no good. I’m of no good too. I need to stop being the source of pain to others.

After Hours

At the wee hour of the day, I’m still up surprisingly. Mind boggling with life questions.

I am a person who enjoys sleeping before 12. Why so you may ask. I am a creature of habit. I believe my body deserves the rest it needs.

I remember when we first started texting, we would sometimes text til late. But I would tell you that we both needed the rest. I even questioned myself and you why we then only spoke at a certain hour.
I didn’t like texting you after hours because I don’t like the feeling of being only then when life had nothing to offer or when everything or everyone else was asleep. It gave a sense of second place.

But lately I noticed many girls don’t care of it. Don’t have a control over their own time and lives. I suppose they value themselves like that.
I’m going to continue being the girl with a routine and principal. I won’t condone to being seek when needed only.

Respect yourself enough to nurture your body and mind.

Try, Tried, Tired

Life has it’s many speed bumps. Some small. Some annoyingly high. Some so low, you don’t even have to slow down. But one thing for sure is that we still keep driving.
The road has indeed been bumpy for me for a while and how I miss her. I know she wants me to march on and be happy.
I can give up. I always pull through. Keep the faith lil girl. You have to be the rock no matter what. You know you’re role, stay strong. Chin up. Insyallah.