Tag: thoughts
For All The Wrong Reasons
If this is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.
Somehow, somewhere this might not be the best thing to be done. But being in my current position. I say to hell with it.
Am gonna roll with it and do what’s best for me.
Don’t You Worry Now
Don’t worry about me or what I do. What happens in my life has nothing to do with you. So keep your mouth shut and stop talkin’ shit, because I’m sick of you bitchin’ and all you bullshit.
A Man That I Would Be Proud Of
“Don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.”
11 February
When I was younger, I did everything I could to play with you. Did every stupid thing you asked me to. You bullied the shit out of me but I kept quiet. For as long as I could play with you, I’m happy.
I got older and I saw you skipping school. I kept quiet and confronted you. You said don’t tell anybody. I kept the secret. I always thought you were cool. Even girls in my school were talking about you. Everybody felt you were cool. I was proud of you.
You got into uni, and you kicked me out of your life. Found a substitute. Everything changed. Then you got yourself into trouble. It wasn’t much about the trouble that impacted me. It was how I then saw you. Someone who I thought had some qualities to be an example. But that didn’t change it.
Years down the road, I was abroad. Struggling financially. Called home, to be more precise, I tried calling you. To no avail. You avoided me. So much for being family. Nobody told me the truth. Nobody would come out clean. I came home to learn the truth.
Well, I thought that life wouldn’t be so bad. As everybody I knew was around. But boy was I wrong. Ever since I got my first job, I’d tried to rope you in for any IT projects. Why? Because I was proud that you ran your own business. So I had a lead for a certain website development. Went for the meeting with you and that was when you first let me down. You promised them so much yet never got back to them. I kept quiet.
I still continued promoting your skills and services but you got me into so much trouble. You didn’t answer their calls and emails. Clients would then come haunting me.
So many times you promised me that you would fix up my websites. But yet you never fail to let me down. You said 4 days, I paid. Nothing til now. You still avoid and won’t reply my text.
I asked you for one favor, a favor that would ensure I could perhaps have a slightly better life. But without fail, you failed me. I don’t have much and I was trying to pad myself for a better future. But you killed my dream. My very first dream of making my first adult purchase. And you have the guts to blame it on me. I was there for the meetings. You conveniently forgot about it. I prepared what I needed. You did it two months late. I had to redo mine. It was a stupid constant preparation. Finally it’s all at lost. Not much of a lost to you. But it is to me. All my hard earned and effort was in it. Crushed me. It really did.
To add to my misery, someone else came and backed you up. When everything was discussed together.
I know where I stand. I know when am wanted. I know what I am in your eyes.
38th Day of 2012
Doesn’t time past extremely fast? It felt like only yesterday was 2011.
2011 was an interesting year for me. A few recaps for you to enjoy here and here.
Lesson learnt from last year and am gonna try to be a better person as a whole this year. Insyallah. Amin.
Family
Am gonna try to take my family on a short little holiday. I can see that everyone’s longing for one desperately. There’s so much tension at home. The last time we went for a holiday was in 2010. An impromptu trip to Penang. It was just my dad, my mum, Aizat and I. More of a little rest with loads of glorious food. Penang has never failed me.
Am also going to try to be a better daughter and better sister. But not lose myself trying.
Religion
I am a Muslim and yes I do not cover my hair and I wear short skirts and shorts. But that does not give you the right to judge me, my religion or my standing next to the Al-Mighty.
I may carry myself as a rebellious girl who doesn’t know jackshit about religion. But trust me, never judge a book by its cover.
This year, I intend to pray more diligently. It hit me one day, if I can pray at home. I should pray at work. So yes, to the surau I shall go. Now leave me and my mini skirts alone.
Financial
This year onwards am gonna start saving. I want to travel the world so bad.
Understand the various cultures out there. Learn about their history, their lifestyle, their food and so much more. I also want to prove that it’s easy and possible for a Muslim to travel around.
I want to also have a health savings so that in case of any unforeseen problems, am well prepared. After all, I don’t have anything or anybody to fall on.
There’s this little dream that I have that I really want to achieve. It needs some funding too. So it’s time for me to be a cheap-O and save up. It’s for my own benefit too.
Work
Sometimes I hate it to it’s core and sometimes I love it to the max. I wish there was more support at times. But then again, would I be able to trust someone else to do my work for me?
I suppose I gotta learn to delegate soon. I intend to double my pay by the end of 2012.
A few days ago, I had a talk with my parents. They are fine with me if I want to quit my job and just rest for a bit. They know am exhausted. I’ve lost a tremendous amount of weight and ain’t eating well anymore.
During a car ride to Port Klang, my parents asked me if I wanted to be a stewardess and travel the world. I was taken aback. Never in my wildest dream would I have thought that a stewardess was an option of a career to them.
They understood how much I want to travel and how hard am pushing both the businesses now. It’s great if I get to travel and source, buy items for the business. Even the money is great. I’m not too sure about it. Can I even pass the height test? Am rather petite. Not just that, what’s the shortest contract duration? I want to stabilize myself and look into my future. What’s there out there for me? I ain’t too sure. Am I ready to leave advertising? Not too sure either.
As off now, am gonna work hard and make them green beans.
jujuwiwitata’s - www.shop.jujuwiwitata.com
Is currently undergoing a round of serious planning.
We’re updating the website, supplier list, photo styling and obviously a better range of clothes.
Looking into doing more pre-orders as well.
Big plans to roll out better. Wish me luck.
The Great Indoors - www.thegreatindoors.my
My latest dabbling. It’s Kevin’s baby actually but am doing what I can to push it forward.
A furniture rental/sales business.
Focusing more on industrial and vintage items. We source, scout and salvage valuable characteristic furnitures and knick knacks.
We’ve looked into our business plans and we’re all fired up to make it work. 4 months to do it! Wish us luck.
Health & Well-being
Am getting really tired of my weight issue and I intend to sort it out by June 2012. I have to at least weigh 40 kgs then. No more funny business.
Will force myself to eat. Am going to start exercising more. If there’s no badminton. I’d cycle around the neighborhood. Am also going to leave my swimwear in the car. I’d pop over to Kevin’s to swim after work.
Am also going to try going to Dermalogica at least once every three months. I can’t recall the last time I had a facial done.
I’ve always had really nice hair. But last year proved me wrong. I have no idea what my stylist did to my hair. But it’s now poker straight and dry. It’s totally difficult to style. Now, all I do is tie it in a high bun. That’s it. It’s all going to change now. Am going to do DIY treatment every weekend and try to get professional treatment done once a month.
I actually miss my long hair. Short hair was cool but long hair was easier to maintain.
Relationship
Am gonna go back to what I know best. Not dating.
Why you may ask? I took a chance last year, when a charming, witty, funny and more guy came along. It didn’t turn out as I hoped nor did it end badly. But I’ve only got one heart to safeguard. So, my old policy will be kicked in from now onwards “I don’t date”.
Friendship & Outings
Will try to make more time to meet friends and not be forever tired to go out.
I can’t even recall the last time I stepped into a club. Must be when I broke off in 2008. Woah, that long ago!!
Boys, when are we going on our next trip?
My career ladies, let’s head out to an island soon. We’ve been saying but our asses has been glued to our office chairs. This. Ain’t. Funny.
That’s just some of what I can remember that I wish to improve and achieve this year.
My superficial object based goals for this year, will be in a later post.
Too Cute!
I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Yet I couldn’t resist this images I found on Etsy. Well, they are pictures of food. Sums up to me now doesn’t it.
I personally believe that everyday should be a special day in a relationship.
