- Nubby

Now life is one big challenge. How I sometimes wish am still a student. Where things might be slightly easier on me. But then again, my life has never really been that easy.

I’ve to work tomorrow, when so many people I know are on leave. I’ve many things to do. I wish I can slack but I can’t.

I wish I was rich. Have pretty little things in life. Have an amazingly meaningful relationship.

I wish I was on an island vacation right now. My legs are starting to look pale already.

Closed my laptop and packed my bags. I left work in a hurry.
Needed to be away from it for a bit.
Too much going on my mind. It doesn’t feel right.
It’s getting tiring. An endless battle.

Drove off. Parked at the nearest mall.
Ordered a hot cocoa to comfort myself.

Opened up the laptop and back to work. Oh sigh.

In all aspect. Family, finance, work, relationship, business and many more.

Been putting on a brave front simply to avoid people asking me about it. As much as my smile can lie, my weight was a give away. Damn!

Am very grateful for what I have so far but at times I wish God was much easier on me.

At the point of life where money is tight, there’s normally when you’d have to spend the most.

Last week for instance, I had a flat tire. A big ass tear in my front left wheel. What to do? Gotta change it. If that wasn’t enough, I had to do balancing, alignment and fix my chamber too. I could literally see dollar signs ($) floating above my head.

To add to it, my car decided to breakdown on me yesterday. Right after picking up a payment from the client’s. It died. Tried to switch it on but failed. Had to call a tow truck to get it to the mechanics. Sigh.

Finally and exciting new happened just about 11pm. An email from NYC.

jujuwiwitata’s will undergo a new project. Bringing in a certain brand from the States. We will be the stockiest in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

What’s the item? What’s the brand? Well all I can say is its a unisex product. I ain’t bias yo! Hehe.

Stay tuned for it. Wish me luck!

Oh yes, if you didn’t know. jujuwiwitata’s has gone through a minor revamp.

Hope you like the new logo. Do share on what you think of it. I love it as it’s typography. But do tell me what you think.

I finally went to the doctor. Been losing too much weight that my watch and pants are basically just hanging there loosely. Ready to drop off at any point of time.

Went to the doctor because of the spasm due to my indigestion problem. I’ve this problem since my days in Brisbane. The cause to it is so simple, STRESS! The number one killer. To add up to it, I have gastric too. I did Endoscopy a few years back and the reason behind my gastric is STRESS too.

Haih. Am on MC tomorrow due to a lil temperature. I’m back on reflux pills but at least this time it’s less than a week. I remember I had to take them for 3 months and was under strict monitoring. I’m still up because I’ve to take my medication at 2am.

Tyrone is ill too. Puked over 6 times. Tomorrow I’d go to the pet store and look for fur ball food. Let’s just hope it’s nothing much. Just hairball stuck at their throat or tummy.

I’m going to try to get some rest and relax my overly worked brain.

Good night.

I’ve been in a total bad shape recently. How bad you may wonder? I broke down on one fine Friday while I was getting ready to work, all pumped up. Suddenly I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks. It went on and on. I couldn’t even stop it. I changed into my house clothes and went back under the sheets. Whipped up my phone and texted my bosses.

I’m exhausted and unhappy.

Family

I’m trying very hard to be a great daughter and sister. Trying hard to contribute to the daily household needs. Trying to provide Aizat with a comfortable life.

Somehow I feel like nobody appreciates me for anything that I try to do at home. I help them out in ways that I can. But whenever I need them, nobody is there for me. I feel very much alone. Maybe I shouldn’t be here with them. Maybe I’m nothing in their eyes.

Mean Green

In my struggle to make ends meet and pull through every month, I wish I had more.

Am currently spread across all accounts at work with my other business at hand to focus on.

Am in the middle of revamping jujuwiwitata’s at no such luck. I don’t have a supportive support system. Always pushing me down. Shooting down my ideas without even listening to a word that I utter.

The Great Indoors has finally launched. We’re currently working very hard trying to expand our clienteles. Working extra hard on it trying to spread the word.

I’m already handling three jobs and my financial needs are nowhere to match! This is tiring. This makes me want to give up. Should I take up a new job? Or should I take up more jobs?

Trying to pull through every month is tiring enough for me.

Friends

I am blessed with many. Some truly close. Some fairly close. I love them to bits. I hope to not be back stabbed like the many times I have been. I hope to have learnt my lessons of not being too nice to them and let them step all over me like a doormat.

Some of my friends are genuinely caring about me; this bunch is the one that have seen me at my lowest low and highest high. I love you guys and you know who you are.

Relationship

At this point of time, am not too sure what I have done to myself.

In 2008, I told myself I won’t date. It’s a waste of time and effort. I was hurt so bad back then. A break up that didn’t exactly had a reason behind it.

As years pass me by, I soften a bit. I opened up my heart to at least let some new people into it. I was told to let down my guard and give him a chance. Which I did, I was over the moon, happy beyond words. Getting to know each other was such a joyful journey. The similarities and differences was an interesting lesson.

However, I’ve never really been a lucky soul in the relationship department. Always getting dumped, cheated and used. It took a total turn. I had my arguments to it. But I kept quiet. You may wonder why? I’ve always believed that it’s good and best to respect other people’s decision. So mum it is.

It was really tough to digest but what choice do I have right?

So here I am now, sticking to what I know best.

Every guy’s best friend and not their dream girl. I’d live.

Health

My health has taken a toll on me. From tooth problems to my gastric kicking in again. Losing weight by the second. Always feeling lethargic. It feels like 2008 on repeat.

I can’t afford to go for a medical check up. I know if I went for one, the doctor is going to put me back on reflux pill and my weight will be monitored closely.

Insyallah I’d get out of this rut. Insyallah.

So many things happening at one go.

1. My toothache needs to be fixed with a root canal and killing of the nerve.

2. My car is due for a new set of spark plugs and alignment.

3. Installments to pay.

4. To fix all my websites.

5. I now have cats to maintain. Trying to provide them with a healthy, fun and safe home ain’t so easy after all.

6. Friend’s birthdays.

7. In dire need of a new black handbag. My bag has died on me. Leather peeling off. Strap falling apart. To add to it, am very picky with my handbags.

8. Need to go to the skin specialist. Skin is acting up again. This must be due to stress.

9. Car needs a good wax as there are acid stains from the office parking lot.

10. My car needs a fresh coat of film.

The list goes on but you get the drift. Hoping to pull through.

Working hard to earn more. Come on now Juwita. Work harder.