Two reasons to this.

1. Gastric building up and reflux is back.

2. Ergh, let’s not get started on it. I could strangle someone to death about it.

Enough ranting. Happy Friday.

Bismillah.

I’ve been in a total bad shape recently. How bad you may wonder? I broke down on one fine Friday while I was getting ready to work, all pumped up. Suddenly I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks. It went on and on. I couldn’t even stop it. I changed into my house clothes and went back under the sheets. Whipped up my phone and texted my bosses.

I’m exhausted and unhappy.

Family

I’m trying very hard to be a great daughter and sister. Trying hard to contribute to the daily household needs. Trying to provide Aizat with a comfortable life.

Somehow I feel like nobody appreciates me for anything that I try to do at home. I help them out in ways that I can. But whenever I need them, nobody is there for me. I feel very much alone. Maybe I shouldn’t be here with them. Maybe I’m nothing in their eyes.

Mean Green

In my struggle to make ends meet and pull through every month, I wish I had more.

Am currently spread across all accounts at work with my other business at hand to focus on.

Am in the middle of revamping jujuwiwitata’s at no such luck. I don’t have a supportive support system. Always pushing me down. Shooting down my ideas without even listening to a word that I utter.

The Great Indoors has finally launched. We’re currently working very hard trying to expand our clienteles. Working extra hard on it trying to spread the word.

I’m already handling three jobs and my financial needs are nowhere to match! This is tiring. This makes me want to give up. Should I take up a new job? Or should I take up more jobs?

Trying to pull through every month is tiring enough for me.

Friends

I am blessed with many. Some truly close. Some fairly close. I love them to bits. I hope to not be back stabbed like the many times I have been. I hope to have learnt my lessons of not being too nice to them and let them step all over me like a doormat.

Some of my friends are genuinely caring about me; this bunch is the one that have seen me at my lowest low and highest high. I love you guys and you know who you are.

Relationship

At this point of time, am not too sure what I have done to myself.

In 2008, I told myself I won’t date. It’s a waste of time and effort. I was hurt so bad back then. A break up that didn’t exactly had a reason behind it.

As years pass me by, I soften a bit. I opened up my heart to at least let some new people into it. I was told to let down my guard and give him a chance. Which I did, I was over the moon, happy beyond words. Getting to know each other was such a joyful journey. The similarities and differences was an interesting lesson.

However, I’ve never really been a lucky soul in the relationship department. Always getting dumped, cheated and used. It took a total turn. I had my arguments to it. But I kept quiet. You may wonder why? I’ve always believed that it’s good and best to respect other people’s decision. So mum it is.

It was really tough to digest but what choice do I have right?

So here I am now, sticking to what I know best.

Every guy’s best friend and not their dream girl. I’d live.

Health

My health has taken a toll on me. From tooth problems to my gastric kicking in again. Losing weight by the second. Always feeling lethargic. It feels like 2008 on repeat.

I can’t afford to go for a medical check up. I know if I went for one, the doctor is going to put me back on reflux pill and my weight will be monitored closely.

Insyallah I’d get out of this rut. Insyallah.

A must watch short film.

 TWO Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

 THREE Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

 FOUR When you say, ‘I love you ,’ mean it.

 FIVE When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.

 SIX Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

 SEVEN Believe in love at first sight.

 EIGHT Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

 NINE Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

 TEN In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

 ELEVEN Don’t judge people by their relatives.

 TWELVE Talk slowly but think quickly.

 THIRTEEN When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’

FOURTEEN Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN Say ‘bless you‘ when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!

SEVENTEEN Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship..

NINETEEN When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY Smile when picking up the phone… The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY ONE Spend some time alone.