Since, Aizat and I some spare time and he needs to get a few items.
We decided to walk about.

Passed by many of my favourite brands and they were all on sale. I know I need many new things or is it my personal want? Am getting a bit confuse here.
Walked in, touched the pretty clothes, flipped the price and place it to its original place and finally walk out empty handed.

I’ve been like this for a while now. Always thinking in my head “What if…”. Often worrying about sudden urgent needs.

Take for instant, there’s this bag from Rabeanco. Priced at RM1000+. A basic black bowling bag with some silver studs. Oh my love for studs. I really really wanted it. The leather is uber soft and I know it can last me a few years. Despite my existing Nine West being torn and all. I put it back on the shelf.

Few months later, at the Zara store which is on sale. I saw a similar bag with no studs, slightly smaller but genuine leather too. Priced at say 15% of the Rabeanco bag. Did I buy it? No.

There’s other things in life that is more important. Handbags, shoes, clothes can wait. I need to start saving. I want to travel and I want a certain dream to come true.

But maybe, I do deserve something good in my life once in a while? No?

Btw, how exactly do we differentiate needs and wants? It ain’t that easy I must say.

Last Sunday was her solemnization with Azly, her first love.

It was indeed a sweet reunion between two souls. I’ve heard about the wedding plans for a while already.

From a dream it turned into a reality.

Good luck and congratulations babe. Take care of each other.

This is the story of a charming girl
She laughs out loud, sings off key and believes in taking chances
She is quick and curious and playful and strong
She lets her imagination run away with her
She has never been one to stick to convention
She is fond of daydreams that take her places
She can order a cocktail in six different languages
She feels that understated is overrated

The lyrics is just so sad. Imagine this happening to you. When so much hope and dreams were build together. Out of the blue, someone calls it quits. With all the promises and future planned ahead. Devastating. Heartbreaking. Life shattering.

Has this ever happened to you? Or have you done this to someone?

I must say it changes everything you do. How you see life and so forth.

Anyway, do listen and enjoy the beautiful song.

1. Age is just a number, it doesn’t determine your mentality.

2. Think before you speak.

3. Never stoop down to an idiot’s level. Or it won’t make you any better.

4. Don’t confuse ego and pride. There’s a fine line between it that makes such a big difference.

5. An empty barrel makes the most noise.

6. You’re partner is not a punching bag.

I’ve been in a total bad shape recently. How bad you may wonder? I broke down on one fine Friday while I was getting ready to work, all pumped up. Suddenly I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks. It went on and on. I couldn’t even stop it. I changed into my house clothes and went back under the sheets. Whipped up my phone and texted my bosses.

I’m exhausted and unhappy.

Family

I’m trying very hard to be a great daughter and sister. Trying hard to contribute to the daily household needs. Trying to provide Aizat with a comfortable life.

Somehow I feel like nobody appreciates me for anything that I try to do at home. I help them out in ways that I can. But whenever I need them, nobody is there for me. I feel very much alone. Maybe I shouldn’t be here with them. Maybe I’m nothing in their eyes.

Mean Green

In my struggle to make ends meet and pull through every month, I wish I had more.

Am currently spread across all accounts at work with my other business at hand to focus on.

Am in the middle of revamping jujuwiwitata’s at no such luck. I don’t have a supportive support system. Always pushing me down. Shooting down my ideas without even listening to a word that I utter.

The Great Indoors has finally launched. We’re currently working very hard trying to expand our clienteles. Working extra hard on it trying to spread the word.

I’m already handling three jobs and my financial needs are nowhere to match! This is tiring. This makes me want to give up. Should I take up a new job? Or should I take up more jobs?

Trying to pull through every month is tiring enough for me.

Friends

I am blessed with many. Some truly close. Some fairly close. I love them to bits. I hope to not be back stabbed like the many times I have been. I hope to have learnt my lessons of not being too nice to them and let them step all over me like a doormat.

Some of my friends are genuinely caring about me; this bunch is the one that have seen me at my lowest low and highest high. I love you guys and you know who you are.

Relationship

At this point of time, am not too sure what I have done to myself.

In 2008, I told myself I won’t date. It’s a waste of time and effort. I was hurt so bad back then. A break up that didn’t exactly had a reason behind it.

As years pass me by, I soften a bit. I opened up my heart to at least let some new people into it. I was told to let down my guard and give him a chance. Which I did, I was over the moon, happy beyond words. Getting to know each other was such a joyful journey. The similarities and differences was an interesting lesson.

However, I’ve never really been a lucky soul in the relationship department. Always getting dumped, cheated and used. It took a total turn. I had my arguments to it. But I kept quiet. You may wonder why? I’ve always believed that it’s good and best to respect other people’s decision. So mum it is.

It was really tough to digest but what choice do I have right?

So here I am now, sticking to what I know best.

Every guy’s best friend and not their dream girl. I’d live.

Health

My health has taken a toll on me. From tooth problems to my gastric kicking in again. Losing weight by the second. Always feeling lethargic. It feels like 2008 on repeat.

I can’t afford to go for a medical check up. I know if I went for one, the doctor is going to put me back on reflux pill and my weight will be monitored closely.

Insyallah I’d get out of this rut. Insyallah.

It started off with the F1 weekend with Elya, Razwan and my dad. Traffic was madness I tell you. Parking was a bitch too. But for the love of the sport. We braved it all. But SIC should seriously buck up. Service, parking and shuttle was extremely poor. It was then followed up with a home cook dinner. The meal was delicious and I was moved by the gesture.

On the day itself, my awesome team took Hanah and I to Suchan for a lovely lunch. We were surpised with a cake.

Next up was a dinner with the family, sadly none of my siblings were there with us. We have a tradition of celebrating birthdays on the eve of the real day. So my parents and I had dinner together to celebrate my mother and I. It was a pretty decent dinner I must say. We had it at the legendary Jake’s steak house. I got my mum a necklace that she has been eyeing for a while. Dad who got tips from me, bought her the matching earings.

My boys (Elya, Erfan and Razwan) asked me out for dinner on my birthday night. Which I agreed upon. Thinking that it would be an intimate small group get together. However, when I got there I knew they had something up their sleeves. The table was so long. I did not know who they had invited. Nervous I was through out the night waiting for the others to arrive.
One by one they arrived. I had tears in my eyes seing so many of my dearest friends made time for me despite their busy schedule. At one point of the night, I was really quiet. Didn’t utter a word. I was truly overwhelmed.
I’m a lucky girl with wonderful friends. It’s my dearest and nearest that’s important to me.

I feel loved, grateful and overwhelmed all in one go. What more can a girl ask for?
Here’s what happened last year. Thank you and love you guys a lot! You know who you are