Don’t Lie

I may not be that brave of a person to open up my heart to tell the truth but at least I don’t lie.
Many instances people dear to me lie to me. But in the end, the truth reveals itself to me. Only clouds the picture I have of you and makes me question your presence in my life.
Why must people I trust and care for lie to me? It hurts. Am I not worthy of truth or are you not worthy in my life?

Damn If I Do, Damn If I Don’t

I was once told to my face that I was incapable of love. Few months down the road I fell in love. But oh well, the intense dating only brought me down in shambles.

Someone once described me as staunch. Not moved by certain funny gestures as I had rules for myself that I lived by. But that someone had more rules for himself that he broke but couldn’t bend his rules based on his own mistakes for me.

Three years should do the trick. But it’s already three and nothing seems to change.

Fixed my tooth. But never capped it well. Now it hurts.

I love cars. I took care of my old car so dearly. This car, was scratch not by me. It makes me sad looking at how comot it is. But upgrades are always equalled to higher cost.

Be there for friends in times of death, breakups and so forth. My low points, where are they?

Exercise, not enough sleep. What’s the point?

Why Bother

It’s 0315 hours on a Monday. Which would mean our official off days. I have been sick for the pass few days, literally too weak to get out of bed.

Work has been endless since September 2013. Initially thought of having a break, but it really doesn’t seem like it would be happening anytime soon.

I’m really tired, no longer up to game. Forgetting things. I’m trying to have a better lifestyle by exercising but it’s really pointless when I work til the wee hours daily. My body gets no downtime to recup. Falling sick last week was a warning but I have been working still.

I really don’t want to land myself in the hospital but maybe that would be my vacay?!

I’m going to try and get some sleep now and wake up for a meeting on a non-working day.

Oh well, sigh.

Perfectly Imperfect

“I am a flawed person. A brook with many stones, a clear blue sky with many blackbirds. I have many shortcomings. A rainbow that’s not long enough, a starry night with clouds. But I can only be thankful to the God who loves me just this way, and I can only be grateful to the people in my life who accept the clear blue sky with many blackbirds and who are patient with the rainbow that isn’t long enough. And because of this, I am taught love, because of this I love my God, and I love these people.”


C. JoyBell C.