I remember the person I used to be.
I took better care of myself. I pampered myself more.
Manicure pedicure. Hair blowout on a weekly basis. Facial per month. Massage. Good food. Coffee. Magazine and all that now.
I work even harder now but I no longer do any of those things. I don’t pamper myself. Nobody pampers me too.
I thought if you work hard, you play harder. Looks like it was a string of lies instead.
Sigh.
Deserve Good
3 am
It’s past bedtime for many. I just got home. Called the cats in. As I settle in, I try to reflect and do some thinking. But my mind is having endless flashbacks. I can’t stop thinking about the past, you and us.
Maybe it meant nothing to you but it meant a lot to me. I remember our conversations and how we could easily talk about everything under the sun. From religion to life to relationship to politics to the future. We joked. We laughed. We had our misunderstandings. It was always a good time. You used to treat me so differently. You used to care. It has changed and it changed in front of my eye without you realizing it or so you claim.
I know I should stop caring, stop thinking and stop feeling. But I’m not you, you were never the one to fill my time.
Game Over
Work has been stressful and tiring. The task I perform is straining my tiny self.
I push even harder when I feel tired.
My eyes are no longer as white as it used to be. My skin has gotten tanned. My face has a crazy outbreak from the dirty environment I work in. My hair no longer shines in it’s original black. Too much working in the sun has lighten it to dark brown.
I don’t recall the last time I woke up feeling completely rested. I can’t remember when I read a book.
Im so tired but I don’t have a choice. So I work endlessly.
Melancholy
My eyes haven’t stopped shading tears since 11 am.
I’ve never been this miserable and hurt this badly.
I can’t breath.
If this how my life is to be, please take me already.
I’m too weak. I can’t take this pain.
My life altering sacrifices means nothing to you or anybody.
So let me go, please.
Eventually
Don’t take people for granted. No matter how much they love and care for you, people get tired eventually.
First Go
My first attempt at drawing on an iPad. Not the easiest for someone who is so used to paper and pen. To make it worst am not exactly good at drawing. Sketching is more likely me.
This was done up by an app called Paper by 53.
I definitely need more practice.
