“If you love someone. Tell it up front. Even if it hurts. Even if it’s not right. Even if you can’t be together. They could be gone tomorrow.”

- Juwita Jalil

I’ve lost two grandfathers, one grandmother, one step-grandmother, an uncle and a few friends throughout my 25 years.

Most of it was shocking. Some was a painful process. Nonetheless, it hurts. I miss them. It’s painful to watch them slip away from you.

Today, I watched a dear aunt of mine laying on the bed with all sorts of tubes going through her nose and mouth. It looked painful. But she didn’t budge. Called out her name with no response. She’s in the deepest sleep known to man, coma. I miss how jovial she was. Making jokes. Remembering going for Hari Raya at her place. How she loves coming over to our house. Eating the cookies I made.

There was this one time, when I was much younger. I served her my burnt cookies and she still at them with a big smile on her face.

As I was sitting next to her with a Yasin in hand. I thought I saw her moving her head. I thought I saw it twice. Maybe am delusional at that point. But even my dad said he saw it. My dad touched her hand. There was no response.

Family members have gathered. Hoping she will fight. Hoping for a miracle.

I’ve learn my lesson. I won’t let the people I love slip away. I will cherish each and everyone of my family members and friends. I won’t hold back in love. We will never know when our time is up or theirs for all that matters.

I love my family. I love my friends. I love you.

xx

p/s : Don’t go just yet Teh. We all love you. Fight.

pp/s : By the way, my lovely aunt has passed on.